Is a caffeine-free existence worth the tedium?

Is a caffeine-free existence worth the tedium_.png

I haven’t had a proper cup of tea or coffee for years.

No. I’m not one of those people who prefers hot water (weird) or, you know, a child.

I went through a period of debilitating panic attacks (having to get off the bus or run out of meetings debilitating) and thought caffeine might not be helping. It may have been a coincidence but cutting it out did seem to help (I still want to run out of meetings occasionally). So I’ve stuck to caffeine-free drinks ever since.

But there’s one downside.

They suck.

Caffeine-free coffee is just about OK. But to subject myself repeatedly to that kind of low-level disappointment can’t be good for my mental health either.

Caffeine-free tea is an insult to the word tea. A pale brown hole in the universe where flavour goes to die.

And herbal teas. OMFG.

  • Chamomile - Smells like cow dung. Tastes like cow dung. And grass.
  • Peppermint - Tastes nothing like peppermint, oddly. Mostly bitter. Better with honey but probably best without the teabag at all.
  • Fruit teas (any) - Look pretty. Smell nice. Taste of absolutely nothing.

Sorry. There’s no substitute for the hard stuff.

Man, I want a coffee now.

I think it might be worth the palpitations and all-engulfing terror.


Richard Steelelife